I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize