I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
