T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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