i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
