I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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