her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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