The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
