That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
