I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
