Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
