Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
