I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
do nipples grow back?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
