i barfeds in our rink
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
