UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
