This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
