If i come over, it means nothing
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
