Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
