tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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