Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
