This is not my ceiling
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
