Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize