i think my mom watched the whole time
thus making me awesome and them whores
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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