That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
its not stalking. its research.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Randomize
