i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We need a shit load of segways right now
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
