Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
