Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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