I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
