i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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