My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
