yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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