guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
