I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
