Dual....:-)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
