I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize