The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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