I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
