I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
