3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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