You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
be right there i have to get my cape
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
