sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
