Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize