I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
