lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
