The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
