physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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