I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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