I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
