I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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