The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
