There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
