I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
