You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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