wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
