You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
