So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
