Can Purell be used as lube?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
