found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
