so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
