and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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