Where did you get a picture of my penis
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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