I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
