You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
