All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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