Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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