After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
