I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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