He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize