Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize