Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize