Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
